One essay: Can’t show anyone, must show everyone

Tags

anxiety, autobiography, domestic violence, essays, gaslighting, should, to publish or not to publish, un-silencing, writing anxiety

https://instagram.com/p/1vph1hm_Jo/?taken-by=shapeshifter43

I’ve written the thing, the story, the truth, that I’ve been trying to write for a year now, and I want to both print it out poster-sized-and-laminated for all to see, and bury it on a flash drive in my backyard.

I sort of hate the word “should.”

“You should totally share your story, it will help people,” said one friend.

“Don’t you think you should wait a little while, get some distance/perspective/healing first?” asked another.

“You should think about your children, how will it affect them if you make this public knowledge?” A random said to another random on the Internet, about this very issue.

We should (grrr) really stop shoulding each other and just do what we need to do.

Happy New Year. Drink more water.

Tags

balance, be a better person, need for privacy, need to write, new year, New Year's resolutions, writing about abuse, writing about others, writing about rape, writing anxiety, writing the personal

Is this door opening or closing? Photo by Flickr user Brad Montgomery (Creative Commons license).

As one year closes and another opens, we have a choice. We can look back at the one closing or we can look forward at the one opening.

2014 was not my best year by a longshot. It’s in the running for one of my worst. That isn’t to say that good things didn’t happen. I’m trying to focus on those good things, when my mind tries to kick open the closing door.

I’ve written two posts recently (one for Revolution John and one for the Center’s blog) about New Year’s resolutions. I don’t really make them. Or, I make the same one every year: to just try to have a better year than the one before. To try to be a better person than I was.

I also would like to drink more water and meditate.