If you think I was wobbly after a rolled ankle, you should see me on pain pills.
Oh yeah, I had my wisdom teeth out last week, too. Which means, 1) ow, 2) ick, and 3) I’m so hungry. Yes, instant mashed potatoes, ice cream, milkshakes, bananas, applesauce, eggs, and French toast are awesome; but I’m at the point where I want to throw them and watch them slide down the wall. My kingdom for some chewy sourdough or a handful of almonds or a crispy fish taco with local tomato and cabbage… Pout.
Wobbly. Dizzy. Hungry. A little foggy. I am all these, and more. Good thing I’m not doing anything important this week.
Except of course I am. This week, I go full-time at Juniata College. It’s my last week of teaching through the Center for Creative Writing before a month off that I plan to spend getting used to my new schedule and figuring out where/how to fit everything else into week days that no longer include afternoons off to write and respond to students while Jax naps.
I’m trying to focus on positive things. I will have more money. I love both my jobs. My commute is under five minutes. The pain pills have given me more uninterrupted sleep than I’ve had in years. My son loves playing with the kids at daycare, so the mom guilt when I drop him off is minimal. I’m still, somehow, writing my tail off. My Birchbox will be here tomorrow. The ice cream is chocolate peanut butter, my favorite.
Also. I write a lot about being alone. About being a single mom. And I am alone, and the resulting struggles are real. However, it should never ever go without saying that I’m grateful for the support my family and friends give me, on the daily. I realize it did go without saying in my previous post. Yes, I limp. No, no one can go to work, pay my bills, run my errands, or mother my son for me. But when I’m hurting, I have help. My stepmom spent my whole surgery day with Jax while I slept off the anesthesia, then took him to the grocery store with her the next day while I remembered how to shower (really, I’m like a baby deer on horse tranquilizers, even a few days out). Endless thanks to her. Thanks to the incredibly special and kind person who drove me to and from and didn’t make fun of my chipmunk cheeks, lack of gravity, or need for a blanket in 85-degree weather. Thanks to my co-workers for the two days off, right before our new faculty member arrives on campus and the fall semester begins.
Alone in principle but not in numbers, because it takes a village. I hurt in about 10 different places, but I’m still rolling.
I can’t wait to blog about food again.