The thing I love most about YouTube videos of people’s kids saying adorable things is the miracle of it. Aim an iPhone at my son while he’s saying or doing something cute to the nth degree and you’ll get 17 photos of his give-me-that-iPhone face. Bravo to the parents with the grim determination to capture their LOs in action. I can’t even.
So in lieu of all the Jax videos that shall never be, here’s a shortlist of adorable stuff my kid says (like his mama, food and animals are prevalent themes) and what it actually means:
- Hi, baby! Translation: Hi, Mama; Hi, Mimi; and (repeated) please come get me, I’m awake now.
- Boobies. Translation: Blueberries. Which are his favorite and coming in season, soooo all day boobies.
- Unka. Translation: Skunk.
- Ah-kwa-kwa. Translation: Crocodile.
- Pee-butt. Very unfortunate translation: Peanut butter.
- Buh-wee. Translation: Belly. Specifically and originally his aunt’s pregnant belly, but now all bellies, which of course must be exposed, by him, in grand fashion, while repeating the word for them approximately 11,000 times, until he’s distracted by ubbas.
- Ubba. Translation: Belly button.
- Da-leak da-leak da-leak da-leak da-leak da-leak. Translation: I have no earthly idea. I’m including it with the hope that some other parent knows what this child is trying to communicate to me. He’s been saying it for as long as I can remember, near-daily. Is it a cipher? Is he in desperate need of some basic resource that I’m not providing? Can I get a code-breaker in here, please?
- Kuh. Translation: Any beverage. Because it’s served to him in his “kuh.” Duh.
- Ow! Translation: I’m angry. Not, I’m hurt. I’m seriously more pissed than you that I’m in timeout for putting cookies in the dog’s water dish again.